Exotic Cars, Kidnappings, and Squishmallows Full of Cash
By Relentless Aaron | WebFilmBooks
In a case that reads like a crypto-noir thriller, federal prosecutors in Washington, D.C., have charged 13 men in what they’re calling a sprawling, international conspiracy to steal more than $265 million in cryptocurrency—and then launder the proceeds through everything from luxury watches to Squishmallow stuffed animals.
At the center of the scandal is 20-year-old Singapore native Malone Lam, already infamous for his role in a $245 million bitcoin theft from a D.C. resident in August. That single heist alone triggered a bizarre chain of events, including the alleged kidnapping of a co-conspirator’s parents in suburban Connecticut by a Florida crew aiming to extort ransom from their newly rich son.
Lam’s alleged shopping spree was as over-the-top as the crime itself:
- Over 30 exotic cars, including Ferraris, Lamborghinis, McLarens, and even a Pagani
- A $2 million watch
- Nightclub blowouts costing up to $500,000 a night
- Hermès Birkin bags hand-delivered to his girlfriend while he was behind bars
But Lam wasn’t acting alone. The new superseding indictment, obtained by CNBC, lays out charges including RICO conspiracy, wire fraud, money laundering, and obstruction of justice. The network of accused includes American citizens and foreign nationals, many of whom allegedly first met through online gaming platforms. Their ages range from 18 to 45, with two individuals still identified only by aliases.
Among the newly named defendants:
- Hamza Doost and Kunal Mehta, arrested in California this week on money laundering charges
- Joel Cortes, 21, from Laguna Niguel, California, who allegedly helped ship fiat currency inside Squishmallows, each stuffed with about $25,000 in cash
- Conor Flasburg, 20, of Newport Beach, who prosecutors say co-organized the enterprise with Lam
According to the U.S. Attorney’s Office, the crew used a suite of tactics to obscure their digital footprints:
- Mixers and pass-through wallets
- Peel chains
- VPNs and dummy exchanges to mask their true identities
The crypto was then laundered and spent on rental mansions in Miami, Los Angeles, and the Hamptons, private jet rentals, and a fleet of at least 28 high-end vehicles—some reportedly worth up to $3.8 million each.
In an even more cinematic twist, an off-duty law enforcement officer allegedly tipped off the group about the investigation. In one instance, this allowed Lam to ditch his phone into Biscayne Bay, presumably to destroy evidence. Prosecutors claim Lam continued orchestrating the operation from jail, including directing co-conspirators to buy luxury handbags for his girlfriend.
Lam’s attorney, Scott Armstrong, says the young man has “no criminal history” and is simply caught in a “very complicated case.” But prosecutors paint a different picture: one of a bold, lavish lifestyle funded by cold digital crime.
As of now, Serrano, the alleged co-conspirator connected to the Connecticut kidnapping subplot, has not been charged in the new indictment, though he is referenced as a “co-conspirator.” His attorney has yet to respond to CNBC’s request for comment.
This case—bridging virtual heists, real-world violence, and high-society excess—marks yet another cautionary tale in the shadowy intersection of cybercrime and crypto-wealth. If convicted, these young men could go from Bugattis to bunk beds, trading Birkin bags for prison jumpsuits.
Tags: cybercrime, cryptocurrency theft, bitcoin, RICO conspiracy, money laundering, exotic cars, Miami crime, Squishmallow smuggling, digital fraud, federal indictment, Malone Lam, crypto underworld, U.S. District Court, tech crime, luxury lifestyle gone wrong, Gen Z criminals, online gaming conspiracies
