Father Refuses to Attend Daughter’s Wedding After She Plans …

Planning a wedding is difficult enough without having to balance personal dreams and family expectations.

For one engaged couple in their mid-20s, finding the “perfect idea for a day” came three years after their engagement and plenty of back-and-forth.

But when their ideal wedding date collided with a beloved family tradition, it sparked a surprising conflict. 

The couple initially wanted to get married on their anniversary, but it didn’t fall on a Saturday for years. Then inspiration struck: “Our favorite holiday is on a Saturday next year, and we could make a massive party of it,” the bride wrote in a Reddit post.

That holiday was Halloween – a day both partners love for its fun, creativity and festive energy. Their friends were excited about the idea, too, until one unexpected objection came up: the bride’s father.

As it turns out, Halloween isn’t just any holiday in this family. “I got my love of Halloween and all things horror from my father. Halloween is basically Christmas to him,” she explained.

But when she shared the wedding plans with him, his reaction wasn’t what she expected. “He told me that if my wedding is on Halloween he would skip it, stating it’s unfair to get married on a traditional holiday, and that I was selfish for considering it.”

This came as a shock, especially since the bride and her father are typically close and rarely argue. But in this case, the line was drawn.

“He has made it clear that I would be crossing a line if we chose this date for our wedding,” she explained. That left the couple wondering if planning a Halloween wedding, even if it brought them joy, would truly be selfish.

Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE’s free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer​​, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.

The story gained attention online, where many weighed in with support, criticism and personal anecdotes.

“As someone who does a yard haunt and loves halloween, I couldn’t attend a halloween wedding,” one user admitted. “Those who have kids might not attend, and some people who don’t want to be that house with the lights off might not attend.”

Others raised practical concerns about how the date could impact future anniversaries. “If you’re OK with spending every anniversary trick-or-treating with your kids and competing with everyone else who wants to have a good time on Halloween, then go ahead,” another pointed out.

Still, not all feedback was critical. One woman, who had her own wedding on Halloween, came to their defense. “All you have to do is celebrate on a different day if you want to have Halloween plans,” she wrote. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

Ultimately, the couple landed on a compromise that honored both their love for Halloween and their family’s concerns.

“My fiancé and I are planning on eloping this coming Halloween and having a small celebration with local friends,” she revealed.

The following year, they plan to throw a full celebration on Oct. 30 – “a ‘proper wedding’ with reception that will be one part New Year’s Eve, one part Halloween.”

With both sets of parents on board and their love of Halloween intact, they turned a point of conflict into a celebration that works for everyone.